Oh! I Totally Get the Impaired Judgement Thing Now

Things You Should NOT Do When You Are Drunk:

Scale buildings and jump onto ledges
Trust a stranger when they say jumping off the bridge into the Charles River at 3AM is a good idea
Climb to the top of the bat cliff in Mission Hill with a beer in your left hand
Swim to islands
Hitchhike from Dorchester to JP with a bunch of wasted Jamaicans
Climb cranes
Poop in front of a bank
Drink water coming out from a tube in the ground
Run across route 2 in high traffic to get to the bowling alley, again, and again, and again...
Sit on the rail on a bridge over route 3
Drive
Drink more tequila

Things You Always Want To Do When You Are Drunk:

Scale buildings and jump onto ledges
Trust a stranger when they say jumping off the bridge into the Charles River at 3AM is a good idea
Climb to the top of the bat cliff with a beer in your left hand
Swim to islands
Hitchhike from Dorchester to JP with a bunch of wasted Jamaicans
Climb cranes
Poop in front of a bank
Drink water coming out from a tube in the ground
Run across route 2 in high traffic to get to the bowling alley, again, and again, and again...
Sit on the rail on a bridge over route 3
Drive
Drink more tequila