Today, I Learned A Lesson!

Hi everyone!  I know I haven't been around in a while, but I learned a valuable lesson today, and I wanted to share with all of the intelligent people out there, who are often mistaken for morons because our parents never taught us the obvious, like, "Don't run around the pool!", or "Don't play drowning!".   So, to all the past children whose parents never noticed the pennies in their poop, this one's for you!

I call this piece:  The Importance Of Labeling Things.  (Notice that I labeled ALL sides of the container, not just one.  If that's not intellect hard at work then I don't know what is.) 

Conversations With Gilman

"I kind of want to see if I can seal my hands air tight in dough and fry them to make donut fingers."

WTF?

Virgin Mary/Vagina Saga Continues

Just pretend I'm a cartoon character and my eyes just blinked and I made no expression whatsoever.

Map - A Contribution to Swallowing The Rock, by Heidi Kepnes

PLEASE CLICK TO SEE FUNNINESS IN FULL EFFECT.

I May Be An Asshole But I Have More Fun Than You.

When a friend (who has accused you of not knowing how to use a computer) is waiting for you at a coffee shop and they leave their laptop at your place, it's a great idea to change their background, the language of their computer, and the magnification (make it really small and move the location of it). Also, you should change the alert sound to "frog".

Satisfaction ensues when they call you up and need guidance on how to change it back.

Touché Timothy, touché.


- A collaboration, by Liz Jacobs and Heidi Kepnes

Dear Comcast,

You e-mail me and tell me that my Comcast statement is ready for viewing. Did it ever occur to you that I may not be ready to view my Comcast statement? You are so selfish. We are going to have to talk about this, otherwise this relationship is just not going to work out.

Sincerely,
Liz