My New OKCupid Profile!

My self-summary:

If I'm functioning I'm not an alcoholic.

What I’m doing with my life:

Burning those bridges, again and again.

I’m really good at:

Eating cheese.

The first things people usually notice about me:

The dead baby in my arms.

My favorite books, movies, music, and food:

I can't read. I'm blind, deaf and long ago some bitch cut out my tongue and made me live under her stairs with all these other freaky people. So like, I don't care about food anymore.

The six things I could never do without:

My real dolls. Ironically I have six, including the hermaphrodite.

I spend a lot of time thinking about:

How much fun it would be to do a lot of cocaine and go on a slip and slide!

On a typical Friday night I am:

Burying the bodies or hula hooping.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit:

I can't hula hoop.

You should message me if:

You're a fan of cropdusting in public places.